When the Stars Lead to You by Ronni Davis

Author:Ronni Davis
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
Published: 2019-11-11T16:00:00+00:00

Later that night, I sat at the same desk Ashton had run his fingers over.

Depression.

I’d been typing the term into Google every day since Ashton told me his diagnosis. The results were always the same:

Fatigue

Feelings of worthlessness or guilt

Diminished interest or pleasure for almost all activities

Suicidal thoughts

My hand froze. The scar on Ashton’s wrist. The desperate look in his eyes when I’d noticed it. As if he wanted to disappear. As if he wanted the car to swallow him whole.

What if he’d tried the unthinkable?

I closed my eyes and took deep breaths. Then I did another search. Found a link to a site on supporting a loved one with depression. Bookmarked it.

Just in case.

Two knocks, then Mom walked in holding a little paper bag. I closed my laptop and leaned back in my chair, crossing my legs lotus-style. “What’s that?”

“What we talked about earlier,” she said, closing the door.

Oh right.

Mom had given me “the talk” years ago, so I knew the mechanics of sexual intercourse. What I didn’t know were the other things: How did it feel? Was it scary, being so close and so vulnerable with someone?

Would it hurt?

“Condoms,” she said. “Brochures. A list of websites for the things you’re too embarrassed to ask me about. And if you decide to go on the pill, here’s the name of my gynecologist. You can go by yourself if you want, but I’ll be happy to take you, too.”

“Did you have this stuff waiting for me?”

“As soon as you started spending all that time in the driveway with him. Don’t think I didn’t notice those foggy car windows.”

“Um…”

“And, Bun? Talk to him. If you can’t sit down and have a frank discussion about sex, you shouldn’t be having sex with him.”

“What do we talk about?”

“What don’t you talk about?” she countered. “Talk about everything. Birth control, your history, testing for STDs. And don’t forget the logistics, like when and where, what you both like and don’t like, and how much you’re willing to explore together. Talk about it all.”

That made perfect sense. “I will.”

She pointed to the bag. “Look through that, and if you have questions, come to me. Okay?”

“Okay.” I sifted through the bag, then I looked up at her. “It’s all very serious, isn’t it?”

“Damn right it’s serious. I’ve tried to be sex-positive and open-minded with you, but I have to give it to you straight. It’s a big deal when you let someone get so close to you for the first time. If you take that step, he’s going to make you feel things you’ve never felt before. That can do a number on your head and your emotions. There are a lot of risks, and I’m not only talking about getting pregnant or STDs.”

I nodded. “I know, Mom. I’m not taking this lightly. I love him. Deeply.”

“I know. But it wasn’t that long ago you were crying over him. I like him, but I don’t quite trust him yet.” She kissed my forehead. “However, I do trust you.

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